Breadcrumbs

Some geek made Hansel and Gretel immortal! Yeah, but that is not what I am talking about. Its not even about crumb coating chicken pieces, ummm yummy. It could mean anything, its all in the mind, my mind ofcourse. Its about audit trails for business, clues to a murder,a heinous one, finding the rat hole, the rodent clipping off the cheese from my larder and creating its own treasure house; all my blue cheese gone, can you believe it. Its about thoughts in my mind, thoughts in yours, what we shared, what we did not. Its about places I went to, the paths I took, the paths I retraced all thanks to the crumbs that didn't get eaten by those sorry jackdaws; I killed them all, along the way. What would I be with all my memory erased but for the crumbs, the painful crumbs, the wonderful crumbs. Oh I mean the pages they lead to really, back and forth, one alley to another, a fork here and a bend there; between yesterday and today and a wishful tomorrow

Shell to seed

My love there is so much more to see, so much more to love and so much more to feel, piped the mango to its seed. The flippant wombling replied; I have seen all that there is and there was before, I am the core and there is nothing more! Oh but there is, the shell clucked. It realized it was time to rot and disintegrate, merge with the earth so to say. And so it did and let the seed drop, plop. For the first time the ignorant being, smelt the air from outside the skin, the pulp and all that makes a mango worthwhile. A pleasurable shiver ran down its spine, there was so much to see, to love and to feel, sprout out a tree and spin that wheel!

Another tidbit of your life to keep me going when I am old

Manmay: Aadhya I am not your friend!
Aadhya (the little girl who stays near your tata's house): Why Manmay?
Manmay: I don't like you
Aadhya: Don't say that or God will punish you.
Manmay: God will not, he is my friend!

Hee hee, I don't know about God, but I love you a lot son!

Love u son!

You are such a chatterbox! You are so damn sweet. You are such a pain!
All the way from waking you up, to dropping you to school, I love every bit of it!
And the minute you are in your class and I have to walk back to my vehicle, I feel so empty!
But then again your face pops up and all our conversations come rushing in, my heart lights up into a thousand fires.... thank you son for being there for me!

Voids

If its a void I want to fill, just anything would do.

But if the content matters, then its a different story alltogether.
Because then I am tying myself down. I am most probably looking for similar stuff that I was used to all this while or just the opposite.

Similar content can never be the same as what I wanted to replace. But the problem is that my mind will be expecting it to be the same, that is why I wanted similar stuff in the first place instead of trying something new.

If I choose quite the opposite, I am in for trouble again. I have no clue how it works. If I am the experimental kinds, it should be easier. But I will still try to create patterns, I will try to again map it to what I know. I might again bind it into a thousand chains of my expectations. It would be better then to just get rid of it and the void. But ofcourse if it matches what I want, then I have closed the void for atleast a certain period of time.

The problem with choosing the content is that I already have expectations from it. If those expectations can be met, then its really a cakewalk. Like if I was filling the void with rice grains of a particular type and its available in the market. So, can I have a not so rigid set of expectations of content. I can. I can choose the in-betweens or those out of range. I can say that I am fine with any one of the blacks, greys and browns. I can say that I like hot water as opposed to cold as long as it does not scald my tongue. But I must know when to retreat. The water will remain true to its nature, so if its hotter than I expected, then its going to hurt, for that is my nature.